Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
it glows. i had to have it.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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