id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
I don't think brook has ever known best
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
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