You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
I can't put those talents on a resume
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
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