I just woke up to a lawnchair covered in lipstick. I'm wearing red lipstick. What happened and is the tequila?
i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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