I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
She has a concussion we think. Dancing to barbie girl.
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
I'm at about main and main street
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
Randomize
