And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
