This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Randomize
