idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
