Where are you?
In a non slutty way
chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
