fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
I want her autograph on my taint
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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