she kept yelling 'call me bella'
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
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