that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
He finally admitted that he was drunk when I asked him how he got the rug burn on his chin and he replied "the worm contest"
so I'm in athletic shorts, a suit jacket and I'm still drunk at 6:30am at the last leg of relay for life
Well, think of it this way, if this were 200 years ago your father would have received the most goats in all the village for your fertile loins. Think about that.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
Randomize