anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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