Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
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