please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
i'm at a stripclub and this bitch just lit her nipples on fire!
He's married, but his wife isn't my neighbor so I don't feel bad about coveting him.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Randomize
