I just came so hard I farted. Twice. Thank God I'm alone.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
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i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
I wrapped my scarf around his head and then made him go down on me
And I also said, "probe me"
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How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
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