I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
I don't think I can handle being a slut. There is a lot more emotional stress that I never realized.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
I almost died in that meeting. Nearly dried up and blew away in the pure powder form of boredom
I know that feel bro
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
Randomize
