she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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