no, he came in my armpit
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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