you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
My mom just came into the kitchen and watched me take a double shot of whiskey and chase it with a beer and said "you are my son." Proudest family moment ever
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
There is no such thing as a great breathalizer story. That isn't a thing that exists.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
