I'd wear matching sweaters with you
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
the best thing about long term relationship is that the fact that i bothered to shave my legs today counts as a valentines gift
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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