where am i from again
He is an equal opportunity slut.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
