I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize