when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
The nun costume is coming back hard and it still has glitter and the smell of Vegas on it.
Best. Text. Ever.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
As much of a hooker as I am you don't slam where you drink
I woke up with a dread of barbecue sauce in my hair. Drunk munchies makes me a disgusting person.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
