she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
