why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
You shoulda seen me try and clean up custard from an eclair off the floor while trying to pretend to be sober for my mom. Fucking hilarious.
Randomize