Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I just masturbated to a Jock Jams cd. What have you done today?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
Randomize
