my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
