Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
Under no circumstances is tits McGee to make that kind of decision about my life!
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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