Are we in a gay sports bar?
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So apparently Facebook just randomly finds the girl who gave me a hard handy despite having no mutual friends...
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize