ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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