At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
Just don't eat pie out of the sink. It's a real blow to the self esteem.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
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