I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
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