She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Morning! Im using your rent money to snort percocet.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Yeah but who says we can't be shitfaced and tan at the same time?
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Randomize
