After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
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