Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Randomize
