did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
do you know what's more awkward than a positive pregnancy in a public bathroom?
not a thing
walking in on a stranger's positive pregnancy test in a public bathroom
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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