Do vagina's smell?
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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