Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
you go from almost hooking up with the hottest guy at the party, to going home with your ex....how is that even mathematically possible
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
he high fived his dick after we had sex
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
