AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
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