SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
Its a holy bong. We had to bless the holy bong water.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
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