this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
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