Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
Randomize
