WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
time to smoke my breakfast
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
Randomize
