SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
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she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
It was great. They teamed up to hit on these two frat boys all night, until the frat boys started making out with each other. The looks on their faces...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
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