i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
you were sitting on your bed looking out the window, rocking back and forth naked, saying how peaceful it looked outside
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
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