I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
If my drunken penis pic is ever to be forgiven id like to start over with all that
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
Randomize
