dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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