with your own penis?
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
