it hurts more in the daytime
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Why exactly is there a butt plug on the counter?
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
