So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
