Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
He must hate going to the bathroom. Every time he does he is reminded how small his dick is.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
