it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
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