Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
A cop may or may not have seen my bare ass against the moonlight within the past hour
Randomize
