No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I just took a dump by candlelight. I feel like a pilgrim.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Randomize
