Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
How do I tell your little brother I lost my virginity wearing nothing but his socks?
Formal letter or email.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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