Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I paid off a credit card today. And I was tested negative for HIV. AND I did laundry. Honestly, I'm most excited about the laundry.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
Randomize
