new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Apparently everytime he put me down to bed I escaped out the window, I faintly recall climbing into the canoe in the back yard, and air paddling.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize