just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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