was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
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