there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
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