The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
