Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
Randomize