Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
Something strange is happening to me, I think I miss hooking up with girls sober
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You stuck your entire fist into a full jar of peanut butter and starting assaulting people
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
Yeah, you're right, it's a conspiracy against you. This small tight knit group of people who don't like assholes.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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