I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
During sex she told me I could do anything I wanted to her. You remember that toy lightsaber we bought at Wal Mart?
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
Randomize