did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
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