wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
Are you having sex right now? Or is the apt just swaying rhythmically on its own? Either way, awesome.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
If body pillows had a built in vibrator attached I would literally never need a boyfriend again
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
